I did 103mph on the way here in the Buick, makes you feel like a man.

Hilarious impression.

“An inmate at Wisconsin’s maximum security prison will soon have four reasons to smile” This is exactly why I hate the prison system. There shouldn’t be a single reason for those lowlifes to smile. It’s prison, have we gone soft?

Anyways, the inmate was appealed because he did not receive the photographs that he ordered in prison. The prison held them due to their strict no pornography policy. The inmate went to the courts pleading that they were not pornography and the court agreed, granting him 4 pictures showing bikini clad models.

There’s nothing really to learn here but let me tell you what I think.

If you’re in a maximum security prison, you’re there for a reason. That reason being that you’re a lowlife scum or someone who made a terrible mistake, or both. You don’t deserve a reason to smile. You’re in prison and it’s not meant to be nice, it’s supposed to be proper punishment for those who have done wrong. The point of prison is to detain dangerous people, and to deter you from crime. So if you’re getting three meals a day, a shelter, & a reason to smile, why would you care about coming back? Give the poor and needy the help that these prisoners are getting instead of the other way around. Keep people out of prison instead of giving them reasons to try and get in.

Dang.

“36-year-old Shawn Anthony Hott, of Boonsboro, Md., had to be pulled to safety after he was nearly run over by his own truck.”

Hott was charged with a DUI when he was caught driving through a field drunk. He fled police and almost ran into a heard of cows.

Hott surrendered behind his truck to police and laid down. The truck slowly inched backwards before nearly running over the drunkard until he was saved by the police. Officers had the farmer who owned the field use his tractor & bucket to carry the perp to the roadside. This story is probably super strange to some of you but honestly…being from Northern NY like most of you, you know this is NOT the most far-fetched story you’ve ever heard, if not the second time you’ve heard it. So guys what could we possibly learn from this story?

One: Drinking and driving is never okay. This is a simple lesson that everyone knows but for some reason some people just don’t get it. Dumb. If you’re not sold on the possibility of killing someone or yourself, how about the horrible fines and burdens that comes from getting caught by the police. Definitely not worth it.

Two: If you’re drunk and you find yourself not even driving on the road anymore? It’s time to get out of the vehicle and accept defeat.

Three: Finally, plan ahead, if you are going to get hammered, then why even drive if you’re not going to stay there? Too many dumb bags of skin in this world that would be more beneficial dead.

Melanese Asia Reid in Daytona Beach FL. was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon because she chased down an employee of Wendy’s with a stun gun.

Reid was so upset with her drive-thru order experience that she left her vehicle and went into the business and revealed a pink stun gun. She proceeded to chase down the employee while being cheered by her friend, only leaving because the manager threatened to call the police. Are you serious?

The police later tracked them down because Reid’s accomplice Katrina Mari-Alyce Bryant called back to complain about the service. How dumb can you be? WOW.

Is there really ever a reason to get THAT upset at a fast food place? If you’re so angry why not just leave? This story personally touches my heart because of my love for Wendys <3 I have never had a bad experience from any Wendy’s I’ve ever been to, and the Chili is enough to make you cry thanking the lord, SO BACK OFF REID, or ‘I WILL RULE YOU’ in the words of the King (Ready to Rumble anyone?) But alas we must take what this story has to offer.

What have we learned?

One: If you’re having such a bad experience at a place, leave and never come back, call if you must and if you really need to feel important, talk to the manager, in a civil way because otherwise you’re not getting anything but kicked out.

Two: A stun gun? Why the hell do you just carry around a stun gun? I guess me living in the middle of nowhere make me unsympathetic but there’s no need, unless you’re a hooker… Regardless, just because you have one doesn’t make you the king of everyone who doesn’t, you people are the reason the second amendment is constantly under criticism, and you should be tased yourself just for pulling out yours in a public place. I hope you don’t just get fined because I hate people like you, single handedly ruining America, thank you so much.

Three: Most important, even though I feel like I’m helping train criminals, if you’re dumb enough to stick up a place with a stun gun or any gun, DON’T CALL BACK?! When did the thought, “oh gurlllll you know what would be a great idur? If weez call back and tell them they are dum and treaty us rulllle bad you know gurl?”, go through your head, and cross into the logical part of your brain? This is beyond me.

So once again, what have we learned Ms. Reid? Probably nothing…

(via inothernews)

If this isn’t the best story ever I don’t know what is haha. Apparently, two men entered their local Loaf ‘N Jug (psh more like Loaf ‘N CHUG right? right? right? no? damn…) with the intent of stealing beer. The three 18 packs that were stolen were Bud Light. If you’re going to steal something, steal something GOOD. I mean come on, Bud Light? Regardless of my personal feelings of their poor taste in crime, the men used an 18 pack to strike down the clerk and made off with with the brewskies. Local police officer Ronnie Nash spotted Dominic Julian Lujan, 23, and Demetrio Junior Rivera, 20 walking down the street after being identified as the crooks and chased them down finding two of the 18 packs discarded in someone else’s backyard of whom a witness said they saw the two men run into the house. The two men remained there until the police obtained a warrant to search the house, arresting the two men for aggravated robbery. Also police arrested homeowner Tasha Nicole Cummings, 19, for possessing “seven Oxycodone pills which Cummings didn’t have a prescription for.”

Now for my favorite part, what have we learned?

One: If you’re going to steal beer, make it good beer, police were obviously just upset of their poor choice, probably could have let it slide were it an understandable brand.

Two: Stealing is wrong and people are stupid. Using beer as a weapon? Here’s some advice to all future crooks, don’t use beverages as a weapon, it’s not going to work as it may have here. Regardless, three 18packs of beer aren’t going to cost you that much money, there is no plausible excuse here, especially over alcohol. You don’t need it, you just want it, that makes you a weak person not to mention stupid. And finally,

Three: Don’t HIDE in a house when the police are chasing you unless you have an escape plan, and you might want to hide your pills a little better! Once again I’m blown away by how many stupid people their are in the world.

But what can ya do? Anyways, what have you learned?

Best video of the day, an oldie but goodie.

I’ve just now seen the rest of his videos and subscribed also even though I had been a fan of the George Washington for AGES.

Well Facebook you dirty dog you’ve done it again. It seems every time I turn the corner I see a story where someone is getting fired, arrested, or sued over Facebook.

“CHARLOTTE, N.C. – A North Carolina waitress is out of a job after griping on her Facebook page about the $5 tip she got from a couple who sat at their table for three hours. The waitress says the customers kept her at work an hour after she was supposed to clock out.”

The waitress was let go from her job because she had apparently violated company policy which includes prohibiting employees to speak negatively about customers & cast a bad reputation for the company on social networks. Give me a break, they’re really putting these in the fine print now? If I owned a business I wouldn’t want my employees dissing my shop either and I’d probably have a word with them if I found out, however this brings me to my feelings on Facebook. In no way shape or form do I find this a legitimate firing. I want you to read close now old farts because you’re ruining this generation of technology because you don’t understand it. (What I like to call the ‘Burn it with fire’ theory..I don’t understand? BIWF!!!) On Facebook, when you write something it does not in fact inform every single person on the internet. In fact it is only able to be seen by those whom you allow to see it, AKA your friends. Therefore, these customers are never ever going to see this post, lest of course they are in fact friends of that person (I really doubt it ;) ). Lets dull it down though shall we? Would you fire someone for writing “THE CUSTOMERS TODAY AT THE  DINER SUCKED @ LITTLE TONY’S PIZZA” in their personal diary and then showed that to their best friend? Perhaps to a few people at school? No of course not, it’s personal and that’d be invasion of privacy. Facebook is an digital diary. Granted it’s a little more involved but the concept is the same. I don’t believe that you can rightfully fire someone for speaking their mind in their own private space. What’s really sad is how often this happens.

Now, to the other side of the story, people why are you being dumb? You all are aware of these stories so why do you continually post incriminating things on your facebook? “LOL I JUST BROKE INTO MR. FIGS HOUSE N STOLE HIS TV” …and then you’re surprised when the cops show up at your house, really? Kids in high school are so surprised when they get kicked off their sports team because they broke the “no underage drinking or smoking” policy because they were found on Facebook with a beer and a stogie in their hands by one of the teachers/coaches…again, really?

So finally, what have we learned?

One: People will always be looking at you, so watch what you say, if it’s on the internet then you’re taking the risk of someone else finding it, so just don’t.

Two: Because the Internet is so vast and involved and open we’ve lost our sense of boundaries and respect for one another’s privacy, it shouldn’t take laws to correct respect.

and finally

Three: You old farts, stop bringing down our generation with your outdated codes that don’t in any way apply to our generation. You already gave us the worst president the U.S. has ever seen, clearly your system is not working for today’s society. As for the Internet, it’s like reading a book, how can you have anything to say about the book if you’ve only read the back cover?

What have you learned?